Trust, Acceptance, and Closeness

I have a few very close/ best friends. I used to think that there is that one best friend and a few very close ones, however as I have gotten older, I feel I don't just have that one best friend, I have two to three best friends. All three I have known for a different amount of time. The one I have known the longest, our frendship has developed over time, especially when we entered college because we both grew up. However, the friendship I want to discuss further is with a girl I met last fall when she transferred to state, and we have been best friends ever since. This girl and I started talking in a class we had together last fall one in which she was not even in my major, she just needed the class as a requirement for her own major. We gradually got to know each other, and before we knew it, we were keeping in touch on a daily basis. We are able to be honest with each other, have a lot in common, we're like twins even though we don't seem like it. We both like different things, however we do have similar goals and aspirations and are both very motivated and persistent when it comes to going after what we want. We make sure we are always honest with each other, even if the other will not like the truth. One time she had done something that she thought would upset me however because she told me the truth, I was grateful that she did, and was not upset with her at all because I understood where she was coming from. How we build trust, acceptance, and closeness is by recognizing each other's differences and accepting and embracing it. We tell each other basically everything, how our day's went, what's going on in our lives? I tell her that anything and everything she ever discusses with me is not only confidential however it is also important because I value her as a person and her friendship. Good friends, especially best friends do not come easily in life, and when you find someone who understands you and you can tell them everything and anything, and you are able to trust them, and they accept you for who you are, and you are still able to remain close, that is a true friendship right there.

The dynamics of our friendship are consistent with those identified by researchers as discussed in this chapter such as when it comes emotional closeness through doing. For example, as the text states, "we reveal ourselves and learn about others by doing things together" (Wood, 2010, pg.254). When one of my best friend's and I first met and were getting to know each other (same girl I discussed above), the one thing we would do every week or every other week, is bake some type of dessert at her place and that washow we got closer,and bonded. There was and never is a dull moment. We always find something to laugh about, to talk about, to find more about. As the text also mentions, when it comes to acceptance, we expect friends to accept us, even for our flaws. We both accept each other for who we are and are patient with each other. However, we do tend to talk about how we have a hard time accepting how others in our lives act and are. Same goes with trust. We both rely on each other to be completely honest with each other and I noticed because we are honest and respect each other, that is how our friendship has developed because we are polite with each other as well. We are comfortable with each other however at the same time, we still make sure we use what our parent's taught us in form of manners, and by always each other, how they are doing, or we thank each other for asking how our days went. I believe it is important for all friendships and relationships to include closeness, acceptance, and trust because without either or one of these elements, a frienship or any other type of relationship, may be lacking a important quality that can help a friendship grow, and develop.