Nonlistening

Out of the six types of nonlistening, the one I found in common with my communication is monopolizing which is when as the text states, "continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of listening to the person who is talking" (Wood, 2010, pg.157). I do not partake in this part of nonlistening all the time or even half of the time. I just felt this type of nonlistening was the most common form of communication I have. There are times when a friend or acquaintance or a family member are talking to me about something going on and when they ask for advice or what I think, I divert the attention or the example to my own life so it will help me to help them. However, sometimes when I partake in this I feel as if I am diverting the attention to myself instead of to that person. A prime example of when this form of communication happened was when I ran into an acquaintance for the first time of this fall semester. When I ran into them to when we parted, I was the one doing basically all of the talking. I had no idea what had gotten into me. When he wanted to ask me something, I did not even let him talk. I felt horrible afterwards because I do usually talk a lot however not where I dominate the entire conversation. Looking back, I wish I had just stopped, taken a deep breath, let him talk, then I talk so the conversation would have been a two way street instead of one. My plan to overcome and fix the type of nonlistening I engage in is to whenever I am involved in an conversation, to not think of the next thing to say when someone else is talking. I will just listen, give them my full attention, make sure I heard the message they were getting across fully, then respond if they ask or when they finish talking. This especially refers to that same person I completely monopolized the conversation with. If and when I see him on campus again or wherever I see him if I do, I will make sure I don't do all the talking, that I show I care by listening to what he has to say. I am not sure why however with this person in particular out of anyone else out there, whenever I see them I do most of the talking and I barely let him talk then afterwards I feel bad I did not let him talk. That is something I would like to work on and plan on changing. I have also interrupted a conversation to divert the attention to me before however I did not mean so. I meant to share an example of my personal story to help the other person's story to be relatable. Overall, all of the six types/form of nonlistening are all imperative to be aware of and if I ever catch myself partaking in anyone of them besides monopolizing, I will do my best to make a plan to fix that habit and to become a better listener.