Experiencing Love or Commitment in a Relationship

I personally have never been in a relationship just because I have not met someone who I feel can and will be willing to handle me, and understand me, and we have similar interests, plus be committed as well. I will however, use an example of one of my good friend's past relationships where commitment was present, however love was not. My friend was with a guy for almost four years, and they had a lot in common, their relationship seemed great, they both were family oriented which is very important to both of them. However as the fourth year approached, my friend noticed that her and her boyfriend were distant, that they were arguing more than they used to, that whatever spark they had, was gone, and that she felt his distance lead to him not caring and loving her anymore. She ended up breaking up with him because of all their disagreements especially ones that involved their families plus she suspected he cheated on her. She found out a few months later, he never cheated on her, however his love for her, was no longer there, and vice versa.According to our text on styles of loving, my friend and her boyfriend experienced the secondary style of love pragma which means practical love. Which means "pragmatic lovers have clear criteria for partners, such as religious affiliation, career, and family background" (Wood, 2010, pg.281). My friend and her boyfriend ended up becoming in a relationship because they had those things in common, and they ended up going to the same college for a few years as well. However, those things they had in common are also what made them grow apart, and their love for one another, to grow apart as well.

What I can conclude on the impact of each is that although commitment can be linked to love, it is not the same thing as love. As the text also mentions. Love is a feeling based on all the time and effort we put into someone. For example, one of my other good friend's has been in a relationship with a guy for almost a year now, and if it was not for her love for him, they would no longer be together. They have broken up a few times, however it did not last for more than two days because they both really care and love each other. They are both also committed to the relationship, however she feels at times, she is putting more effort into their relationship, and is more committed than he is. Love and commitment are two important things in a relationship, without one, I do not think a relationship will be able to last. I feel and believe both are needed to have a functional relationship. That is why I have never been in a relationship because I have not met a guy yet who I feel both ways we can be committed to each other and also love each other. I find both qualities imperative for relationship to work and be successful.